Rise and Rise Again

A friend of mine posted on facebook not very long ago 'WHAT HSC TOMOROW WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?'. All in all, I think she expressed it quite eloquently, and today even I felt like a walking billboard for Belonging! Let's just say I lacked a 'sense of connection' to my practise papers :D Hehehe.


I really don't know how everyone is going right now, which is something that makes me sad because without school it's almost like you're cut off from civilisation and those friends you used to see almost everyday. But if you're like me, and having a few bouts where you roam around with a crazed look in your eyes, here are some quotes that I love reading. It reminds me that everyone started somewhere small - the only difference is, some didn't give up.


Enjoy, and good luck for the next three weeks! I know everyone is going to do fantastic no matter what, because HSC isn't just about that number. It's also about leaving this year happy, knowing that you didn't give up and I think if I can manage that I'll walk away with no regrets. The end of the HSC seems like a little oasis right now of beach and waves and paradise, but I know we're going to make it :)




A big shot is a little shot that kept shooting. 
       - Anonymous

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
       - Anatole France


Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.
       - Anonymous


Whoever said anybody has a right to give up?
       - Marian Wright Edelman


The only job where you start at the top, is digging a hole.
       - Anonymous


What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
       - Dwight D. Eisenhower


Defeat is not defeat unless accepted as a reality-in your own mind.
       - Bruce Lee


To reach a port we must sail, sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it. But we must not drift or lie at anchor.
       - Oliver Wendell Holmes


If the going is real easy, beware, you may be headed down hill.
       - Anonymous


The heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight. But they, while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night.
       - Thomas S. Monson    
   
The toughest part of getting to the top of the ladder, is getting through the crowd at the bottom.
       - Anonymous


Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.
       -Jane Addams


He who seeks rest finds boredom....He who seeks work finds rest.
       -Anonymous


When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
       - Franklin D. Roosevelt


Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
       - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.
       - Henry J. Kaiser


Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength.
       - St. Francis De Sales

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
       - Seneca


Success means we go to sleep at night knowing our talents and abilities served others
       -Marianne Williamson


If you build castles in air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them.
        - Henry David Thoreau

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you are always right."
        - Henry Ford

Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, MY BROTHERS! A day may come when the courage of man fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down. BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY! THIS DAY WE FIGHT! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I BID YOU STAND!
        - Aragon, King of Gondor


Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

The Things We Remember

I had an angry, stormy day yesterday. Remember how angrily King Kong roared after he was shot by those tranquiliser darts? My brother told me I screamed even louder...and looked less attractive to boot. I snapped at anyone that talked to me, nothing went right, and everything just seemed horrible. I had so much fun yesterday.

And no, it was not PMS, thank you for asking.

But everybody has a stormy days where life is just crappy and nothing goes right. When I woke up this morning, I felt a little better. After talking to my friends (so witty and charming), even better still! And I was glad I had that stormy day yesterday, because it made me appreciate the sunny days a hundred times more.

Are you having a bad day? I hope this poem I found might make you feel better

But Don't Forget

Forget about the days when it's been cloudy,
but don't forget your hours in the sun.


Forget about the times you've been defeated
but don't forget the victories you have won.


Forget about the the mistakes that you can't change
but don't forget the lessons you have learned.


Forget about the misfortunes you have encountered,
but don't forget the times your luck has turned.


Forget about the days you've been lonely,
but don't forget the friendly smiles you've seen.


Forget about the plans that didn't seem to work right,
but don't forget to always have a dream.

The next is a poem that I always read when I'm unreasonably angry at anyone - usually those I love the best sadly. It was a poem that was discovered hanging on Mother Teresa's wall, reminding her everyday what to do when even your best efforts are rejected.

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

It's okay to be sad, or angry, or just plain tired. We recommend five minutes of punching and  screaming into a pillow in the privacy of your room :D  But no matter what,  keep going in life and keep going with a smile :) Because in the end, someone will always see your smile - even if you don't see them looking.

Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

Shoot For the Moon

This video is about someone who hauls trash for a living, someone who started taking weed when he was 12, someone who got addicted to drugs.... someone who is truly, truly amazing.

Bella and I, by NO means, condone taking drugs nor do we look down upon people who deal with rubbish for a living. But, when I watched this video, the only thing I could think about was showing you how ALL of us have the capacity to change our lives around. 

So if you could change just one thing about your life, what would it be? Let it stew in your mind, ponder some other mysteries and get back to us if you'd like. I'll ponder it myself and, when I'm all good and ready, I'll let you all know what I would love to change most about my life. Yes, juicy stuff. :)

If you were ever lucky enough to be taught by a man named Mr. Chandra Handa, imagine the following being read in his voice (if you don't know him, feel free to put on any voice you want. Yes, even Darth Vader if that's your sort of thing haha).

Shoot for the moon. 

For even if you fall, you'll land among the stars.

Always, Happiness Equals Bracket.

The Good Life

I don't know about you, but during these monotonous study days sometimes I think of the incoming exams and feel like running around like a panicked animal. After all these exams determine the rest of our lives don't they? What happens if we don't do well? What happens if we don't succeed? And then I read this story, and realised that it's all a matter of perspective in the end.


An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The businessman complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

The businessman then asked why he didn't stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The businessman then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time? The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos; I have a full and busy life, señor."

The businessman scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats; eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor and eventually open your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City where you would run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?" To which the businessman replied, "15-20 years." 
"But what then, señor?" The businessman laughed and said, "That's the best part! When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions." 
"Millions, señor? Then what?" The businessman said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."


This story always reminds me that success looks different to everybody, and to appreciate the simple pleasures. And even though I'll always have this desire to succeed (why James Ruse why?), I think that as long as I have God and those I love with me, I'll be happy.


So what about you? What do you want from life?


Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

Always Remember, Happiness Equals Bracket

What do you say to a good friend after a long absence? For me, it's usually awkward and I try to dispel the awkwardness by telling terrible jokes. Awful jokes. "Why did the maths homework cross the road" jokes (it was stapled to the chicken :D). I think I'm hilarious. Sadly, nobody else does.

Luckily though, I know all you faithful readers are more understanding :) And the only thing I can think of saying now is:

Welcome welcome welcome! Lindy and I have missed you all soooooooo much!

So of course we could offer you the usual bag of excuses for why we haven't posted in a very long time - we were fighting mutant bullants in Mongolia, catching Hungarian Horntails for our next project - but the truth is, real life has a way of getting very, very busy. We didn't forget about Happiness Equals Bracket at all - but after expanding it into an official James Ruse club, posting on this blog seemed to pale in importance next to a real-life HEB group. HSC also has an awful way of making you think your whole future depends on studying hard, and in between cramming for trials, starting our school club, and facing the frightening world beyond high school, this little blog got left behind and forgotten. I'll say it - we became lazy.

We did practise our marshmallow-toasting skills

But one day when Lindy and I were stuffing our faces contemplating philosophy in Gloria Jeans, we began talking nostalgically about our Happiness Equals Bracket blog days - and we realised the same thing. While we had been busy studying to get into that top degree we didn't really want and letting worrying about the future consume us, we'd lost the essence of Happiness Equals Bracket within us - why this whole blog was created.

Organising fundraisers and endorsing important initiatives (like our most recent RUOK? Day project which I'll blog about later) are really great things that open your eyes to the importance of giving back to the community - but this blog was and still is about sharing the wonderful, positive things in life with other people. We began HEB because we wanted to make you smile in a world that's sometimes harsh and cold. And we both realised together that even if we don't get that incredibly high ATAR, even if our futures are uncertain and nobody reads this anymore, Happiness Equals Bracket is something that we want to continue for as long as we can and if possible, the rest of our lives :)

We may have graduated from high school and said our farewell to childhood, but it's certainly not the end!

So what now? Well for the next few weeks, there will be inspirational stories and motivational quotes updated  every day and now, aimed at, but not only for, those HSC students in our grade. Do you find it hard to get motivated to go for your dreams? Hopefully the stories we find will make you rethink that and go for gold, baby! Abraham Lincoln said "Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today", so whatever it is you are inspired to do - start now!

I'll share with you a dream me and Lindy have (it's a little silly, yes hehehe). Although it may never happen, in a small part of our hearts, we dream that one day we'll be able to host our own 'Happiness' TV show which broadcasts to the world all the quirky, fun projects we do so people in their living rooms might remember the positives in life too. Ridiculous yes? But does that matter? Not a single bit :)

So if you've been checking this blog and seeing no signs of life, this is what we say to you:

We are not dead. We are here, and we are waiting. (Too ominous? Never mind here's some love xx)

Lindy and Bella

Always Remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

It's Tea Time!

So due to my psychic mind-reading-ness (is that a word? I am sure it's a word), I know the question you've all been wondering:

Where on earth have our favourite beauties been?

 If it isn't the question you've been wondering, please pretend. Sometimes we like to feel wanted. And on behalf of us both, I apologise for the lack of action this page has seen in the last few weeks. Were we fighting off ninjas in the streets of Japan? Were we wrestling wild bullfrogs in the lakes of Izkabam? Even worse, were we studying?

No, we were not. Oh alright the ninja story is true. And yes, Izkabam is a made-up country. But Lindy and I have really been working hard to bring you all an amazing store of delicious treats to come! More on that later though,

And speaking of delicious treats, on the 27th of May Lindy and I combined our brains, brawn and baking powder to bring you what we did instead of May Project - The Biggest Morning Tea. 

A Cancer Council Initiative, The Biggest Morning Tea called for people all over Australia to - you guessed it -   sling teabags around our shoulders for a day!

Okay that was a bad joke. But somewhere in almost every part of Australia, people gathered their friends, food and family to enjoy a morning tea and raise money for a worthy cause. And what more worthy cause than for cancer research? To most of us, cancer is just a scary word that we rarely think about. Personally, I found it really hard to empathise with fighting against cancer. By the way, it's really important to research and understand completely the cause you are fundraising for, if you ever plan to do something like this. Tabbing your actions as for 'charity' can only get you so far. If you don't understand what you're spending precious hours for, enthusiasm and motivation eventually go out the window.

But here is something that gave me an incredible kick up the ...er... elbow. 1 in 2 Australians will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime.

One in two. Not ten percent, or even twenty percent, but a whopping fifty percent of us will ultimately suffer from cancer. What's to stop cancer from attacking my mother? Or my father? What will stop it from affecting your loved ones? It's frightening but even though you may be reading this right now with a perfectly healthy body, one day it could be you dying from cancer. Think of the people who are facing that fear right now for their families, friends, or themselves.

That is why cancer research is so vital right now. Also why Lindy, I and a bunch of our friends decided to use our skills to earn a few precious bills - bills that will certainly contribute something to a brighter future.

So what was the plan? Simple! All we needed to do was hold a retroed-up bake sale - the biggest, baddest back sale James Ruse ever saw!

Every person on our team was assigned a morning-tea goody or baked treat to wrestle with. Nick chose the murderous Mars Bar slices. Janet selected the bodypunching brownies. Flora decided on killer quiches. Nayoung grabbed the slashing scones. Everyone else made their dangerous choices with great fear (or enthusiasm - I couldn't tell!)

And I decided I could handle the lovely lemon slices!

This above was the 'after' picture and it looked simply scrumptious - a soft-looking, angel white icing peppered with slivers of coconut on a marvellously crunchy base (the recipe is here). The ingredients were easy to get, the process simply a 'mix it all together'. The fact that last time I tried to bake, the oven exploded (I kid you not) didn't faze me at all. Nothing could possibly go wrong! 

Well.

At first, everything seemed to go wonderfully, mixing smoothly together. I punched my first in the air triumphantly - perhaps my dreams of auditioning for MasterChef were not entirely in the gutter! Even my brother gave me a (literal) hand in pressing the yummy condensed milk/biscuit base into the tray, and we totally bonded in true sibling style. And then, as I was spooning the warm icing on top, I noticed something strange. The icing had begun hardening already.
"Well that's convenient, it'll need less time in the fridge," I said cheerfully, and thought nothing more of it.

The next morning my father kindly offered to help slice the slice (hehe) while I brushed my teeth. And when I finished, I came back to find my father red-faced, wielding a HUGE steak knife over my poor lemon-coconut slice.
"I don't know what you've done, but the icing is as hard as concrete!" he informed me, before hacking away happily at my slice..

"Stop! STOP!" I cried, and salvaged what precious little I could. But he was right - somehow the icing had hardened into a toffee-like consistency and the slice I'd poured my love, sweat and blood into (oops you weren't meant to know that) was ruined.

Luckily, we had thought to organise a test run beforehand to judge the taste and improve on mistakes, so that was only my practice slice. Still, I cried many bitter tears over that hardened icing :(
A shout out however, to a special friend of mine who bit into the slice, disguised his look of horror, and bravely continued chewing. You better get your teeth checked Paul, I'm pretty sure I heard a crack.

My baking fiasco aside, the James Ruse Biggest Morning Tea was a raging success! The afternoon before, we gagged and bound the canteen lady (just kidding Mrs Ferguson, you were lovely!) and overtook the kitchen to whip up an amazing range of quiches, muffins, scones, slices, brownies and wedges. And true to form, James Ruse did not disappoint! Drawn by the smells, the crowd was hungry, eager and very generous and we completely sold out by the end of lunch. Even my de-hardened and improved lemon slices were wanted and afterwards, we looked across the empty trays with a sense of absolute happiness and real accomplishment.

And one of the best things? We exceeded our expectations - WAY, way, way exceeded our expectations!We had tentatively hopes to hit the $1000 mark, but thanks to all of you who supported us, we fundraised over $1500 for the Cancer Council!

But to me, the highlight of this whole experience wasn't raising all that money, or the thrill of organising something fun and exciting. It was giving something I was terrible at a go, and not letting failure stop me from trying again. Ever think you'll never be able to do that something? Whether it's applying for a job, or transforming your room into an epic fake Hogwarts, always remember this foolproof way to increase your chances:

The odds of succeeding go up significantly when you actually give it a go.

Thanks to Flora, Nick, Lauren, Janet, Nayoung, Ling, Bryan, Wilson and Paul for their awesome culinary talents. Budding Adriano Zumbos, anyone :D?And of course, Lindy. You are an angel.
Also thanks to you, reader, for still reading to the very last line of a very long but of course entertaining and witty post! Photos up soon!
Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

Mysterious As The Dark Side Of...

The moooooooooooon! Brownie points to whoever knows that song. :)

I just wanted to share with you all a wonderful day I had in the holidays (which seems terribly long ago now). It started out as just an average Autumn day. I was in the city garnering interest for Cranes for Hope from some local Japanese restaurants. 

But life always ends up surprising you. You know what they say though... the best prize is a sur-prise! (I know you guys look forward to my cheesy, corny lines so here you go! Plenty more where that came from.)

Some smile-lights included...

I cooked this! Just kidding, Google cooked this.

=)   The chef of one Japanese restaurant who was actually from Thailand. I think you can imagine my excitement when I found this out - you know how in cartoons when a character's eyes turn into $$ signs? Well, my eyes turned into big plates of "Pad Thai." I kid you not.

We ended up talking for half an hour about his journey to Australia as a kid and how he ended up working in a Japanese restaurant. I walked out with a hand-written recipe for "Pad Thai" clutched protectively in my hand and a huge smile on my face. Amen for Pad Thai, sister!

=)  Two Cancer Council volunteers I met outside Wynyard Station. Dave was from England (England, I say! Hold yourselves back, ladies) and Adam had only graduated from high school last year. 

Somehow, I ended up teaching them how to fold cranes. This turned into a 15-minute affair full of jokes and distractions - especially when a leggy blonde walked by and Dave completely zoned out. I then broke into song about how I'd make a man out of him and then we all started dancing in sync and people on the street gasped at our singing and dancing prowess! No, not really but wouldn't it be great if that actually happened? One day my life shall be a musical!

In the end, I was actually kind of sad to leave them and we parted with a warm and fuzzy hug. I then rode off into the sunset on my gallant horse whilst singing "The hills are alive with the sound of music!" And they certainly were!

Say hello to my new backyard.

=)  When I went to get my phone fixed (let us call the brand of my phone "Grape") at the Grape Store in Sydney, I began to joke around with the people working there. They turned out to be amazingly relaxed and, when I asked what sort of things they did together after work, they told me that they had a "gigantic life-sized monopoly board out back" and that they had to get "specially-made gigantic die" to complement it. I became faint just thinking of the possibilities!

Now, I want to share with you guys a deep dark secret of mine...

I actually get really really nervous and scared when I'm meeting new people. 

It's true - I am indeed a big pansy. I have the sweaty palms to prove it (and my ears also do this weird thing where they go really hot and red - I call this my "tomato" look, it's very popular with the guys). 

I worry whether I'll say something completely dumb or blurt out something random by accident. Or whether they'll think I'm creepy for talking to them or they just won't want to talk to me. Or whether they'll just laugh at me for my tomato-red ears.

Every time I've talked to someone new though, they've never cared that my ears go really red or that I start babbling gibberish when I'm nervous. Every person I've ever met has actually been really interesting and has always taught me something. Like behind every person - young or old, from England or Thailand, red ears or no red ears - they've always had a story to share.

Now, by no means am I saying go and talk to random strangers. Stranger danger, kids, stranger danger! But don't not talk to someone or not do something simply because you're scared of rejection or you're scared of failure. 

Next time you're scared, think of this: "20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the things you did do." And then do it. With all the strength of a raging fire.

You'll live. I promise. 

And always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

The Plot of Potatoes

A story with a twist that twisted my heart. You can tell me your verdict :)

There was once a man whose father was incredibly proud of him. Everywhere the father went, he would tell people about his wonderful, fantastic boy, unable to keep from boasting about his son's successful job, his down-to earth nature. In return the man also loved his father deeply, although secretly he knew he was not nearly as great as his father proclaimed. There was always the threat of disappointment hanging over him - afraid that one day, his father would see his failures and faults. This stress whispered at first, then insisted, then  screamed - until it magnified into a deafening shriek that took over his mind. But we will learn more about the man's torture - and the consequences - later.

Always every year, the father and son planted potatoes in their garden. It was a ritual they accomplished together and although neither of them said it out aloud, they silently recognised it as a chance to bond. It was in the firm feel of the hoe as they dug in the earth, preparing the sods for planting. It was in the selecting of suitable potatoes to plop into the plots. This palpable sense that, as a team, they could breathe life into the soil and achieve something together. 

After weeks of watering and hilling up around the potato plants they came together again, this time to unearth the potatoes from the ground. Row by row they tugged tirelessly, smiling with pleasure as firm potatoes appeared, still attached to the roots. Later they would cut and fry home-cut chips, perhaps even whip up a potato pie. Then the man would leave once more for his apartment in the city, and the father would settle down to await his son's next visit.

Every year, both father and son looked forward tremendously to potato planting. As far back as the man could remember, they had never missed a planting together. Somehow, without fail, he had always been there to see his father's expectant face break into a smile as he handed him a hoe.

And then, it all came out. The man, shaking and angry with suppressed emotion, had done something very very bad. As time passed, the police had picked up on the small minute clues until they caught up with the man, and charged him with manslaughter. In one moment, the man went from a respected, well-loved member of the community to a filthy criminal. I always thought he looked, well, a little strange, neighbours whispered to each other over their fences. I never trusted him. 

And there was still one more thing the police wanted out of him, something they needed to completely solve their case. "Where are the bodies? Where did you put the bodies?", they asked him day and night. Yet the man shut his eyes and said nothing.

When his father heard the news, all rational thought disappeared. Disbelief and pain clouding his mind, he mustered up the courage to visit the son he had once flouted, now subdued behind a plastic panel. There were so many questions the father wanted to ask, but he struggled to say. Why did you do it? Why lie to me?

"What's... going to happen to my potatoes?" he finally got out. "Who's going to dig up the soil sods for planting? It's a big job."

"Don't Dad! please don't dig in the garden without me." The man found he could not look up at his father's face. A tear slipped out, and he opened his mouth to say more. Then the buzzer rang - time was up, and he was led back into his cell.

The very next day, the man's lawyer informed the police that the man was ready to disclose the location of the bodies. "In my father's potato garden," the man said quietly. "I buried them at night in my father's garden, and he knew nothing about it." 

His bewildered father opened the door to a force of aggressive policemen, who then carried their hoes and shovels into the back and began furiously excavating the site. At the terrible thought of corpses fertilising his potatoes, the man's father gave a cry of outrage and betrayal. How could his beloved son do such a thing to him? The policemen dug and sifted and explored, working their way through the entire potato plot. After a few hours, there was still no sign of the bodies, and the policemen began to grumble. How deep had the man buried them?

The man's lawyer, who had accompanied the police, had watched their efforts on the sidelines with some amusement. Now, he walked towards the father, holding out a folded note. "A message for you from your son."

Wondering what excuse was written on the small piece of paper, the father opened it roughly with trembling hands. 

It read : "I'm so sorry Dad. This is the best I can do."

Always Remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

I'm Not Just A Number

You may have noticed that lately Happiness Equals Bracket has been wrapped up with Cranes For Hope Project tighter than my mother wraps my peanut butter sandwiches - and that's tight. We've been breathing it, sleeping with it, eating with it and even - oh yes - studying with it. And it's an amazing feeling to know that we've only just skimmed the surface of I suspect might be a deep, teeming, life-changing pool.

But today's post is something that's been burning a hole in my mind for ages. And although it has nothing to do with cranes, it has plenty to do with hope. The story I'm about to tell involves a gym, a betrayal, rather annoying girls, and salad. It's also extremely long, but I want you to trust me, and stick with me to the end of this. Yes, I'm sure you readers are already hooked and dying of suspense, but perhaps the most important part of this story is that it isn't a story. It really happened - happened to a close friend of mine, who struggled through the darkest tunnel and came out smiling on the other side. I can't tell you her name, but I can tell you that she is one of the most inspiring people I know, a wonderful girl who taught me getting knocked down is nothing if you pick yourself right back up.

"It's scary how the little things in life end up making up your life." 
Rose (let's call her Rose, I just watched Titanic!) is a seventeen year-old girl that isn't very different from the rest of us. She goes to a respectable school, has a little brother whom she loves and hates, and deeply dreads the coming of the HSC. But although she is one of the sunniest people I know,  Rose understands very well how dark and agonising life can be.

It began with the gym - the meeting place where rock-hard abs and steel biceps socialise. Unfortunately I've never been invited, but Rose had a love for aerobics and so she went to the gym regularly. At first, she didn't pay much attention to the people around her. But eventually she started looking, and an uneasy, shameful feeling started creeping through her - inadequacy. 

"So many girls at the gym - toned girls, tanned girls, gorgeous, beautiful girls. I wanted so badly to be like them. I wanted to be better than who I was - to be perfect.” 


So one week Rose stopped eating junkfood - after all, it was unhealthy anyway, wasn't it? The next week she signed up for extra classes at the gym. The week after that, she ate a little less than she normally did, and what she ate consisted mostly of salad and no oil. And so it went on. At the end of each week, Rose hugged herself, took a breath and stepped onto the small scale. And every time the number dropped down, a combination of relief and joy coursed through her. 

She felt very much in control. 

I have to say this - Rose was always a slim girl. But the she began shranking down at half a kilo a week. When the numbers stopped decreasing, she cut the amount of calories she ate - going from the normal intake of 1800 a day to eight hundred calories. Over time, this started taking a grim toll. She didn't seem to have any energy or strength left, and sometimes felt bones in places she had never felt them before. 

Perhaps the most devastating part of this is that she looked at herself, but never realised how small and fragile she had become. She never saw the horrific way her ribs jutted out. 

She only saw a number that wasn't low enough, and a girl that would never be thin enough.

And then her mother saved the day, forcing an unwilling Rose to be treated for anorexia in hospital. Without a word to her friends, Rose put school on hold, living in hospital for a few weeks. To say it was unpleasant is probably like saying butter chicken tastes okay. We all know butter chicken is the glorious food of heavens, but hospital for Rose was a living prison.

Yet instead of resigning herself to defeat, Rose made a resolution and vowed, " I will get better. I will get stronger."

So although it nauseated her, she swallowed all the food they gave her, including the hated glass of full-cream milk at every meal. She clamped her feelings of disgust down when she weighed in and saw the figure slowly increasing. It was definitely not an easy time, and Rose struggled through black nights and long days. But she did it, and walked away three weeks later on her way to healing. 

However, this isn't a fairy tale story. There is no prince with ridiculously white teeth, and Rose did not get a happy ending surrounded by deer and rabbits. During her stay, she hadn't kept in contact with her friends - hopefully she could explain when she got back. There was a best friend, a girl she loved like a sister. A girl she had spent every weekend laughing, gossiping and bonding with. There was a clique that she had shared experiences with for five years. 


But when Rose waved in rollcall, her best friend avoided her eyes. And the clique cut her like she was contagious. Rose didn't understand why nobody answered her calls, why her old friends grimaced and turned around when she neared them. She couldn't believe how deep their betrayal cut - did five years of moments amount to nothing at all?


And through it all, she still struggled with her anorexia, telling herself over and over again that she was perfect the way she was, wanting to believe it. She did it alone. 


Then, when she least expected it, Rose came home one day to find the stress had also taken its toll on her mother. Badly frightened to find her mother huddled in the corner, Rose checked her into a hospital where she was diagnosed with depression.
Now mother, not daughter, was in hospital, and the responsibility fell to Rose to cook, clean and care for her little brother. And to pop the cherry on top of a fabulous year, assessments were looming. 


"I don't know how I did it," she tells me. "Sometimes I'd rush after school to buy groceries for the week, a bunch of flowers for mum. Without her, there was nobody to drive us, so I would have to take an hour-long bus to visit her every few days. Then I'd have to rush home to cook dinner for my brother, and maybe finally fit in a hour of study before, almost crying from exhaustion, I'd fall into bed."


But Rose never even considered skipping the visit to her mother, or not cooking for her brother. She loved them as best she could, despite everything, and never gave up on them - because to her, they were completely and unquestionable worth it. That is why I am still writing about this strong, vibrant girl. Also why, I hope reader, that you are still reading this long, well-deserved post.


So what happened in the end? Well perhaps its no fairytale, but it certainly measures up to a Oscar-winning finale. I am happy to say that Rose's mother has recovered from her illness, Rose herself is on her way to a healthy life and even discovered some true friends who, although she never spoke to much before her illness, stuck with her until the end. She now suffers again - this time through the horror of HSC assessments. 


Maybe you know a Rose - maybe you ARE a Rose. It's a scary thought that there so many teenagers like Rose around, in horrible, heart-wrenching situations that seem bleak.


Yet I hope they also share her smile, her fighting spirit, her perserverance. Despite everything, Rose is one of the brightest and liveliest people I know and always makes me laugh. If you are reading this Rose (and the odds are you are), I want to say that I am forever grateful our parents met, and I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most.
You are my inspiration.


Lindy and I will be bringing you, the Happiness Equals Bracket community, some new posts in the coming year! We'll be interviewing real people, who have a story to tell so that you can decide how to live your life! Our new page, Living My Life (surprise surprise) will be devoted to this issue :)


I'll  leave you with a few last words Rose spoke to me.
"I'm not just a number. It still hurts, but I'm finding out more about myself everyday, and I think the more I find, the more I like."
Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

Cranes for Hope - Fundraiser!

Today I woke up at the bright and early hour of 4 pm (yes, you read right, definitely not my finest hour!) During my fifteen-hour slumber, I had dreamt of the most amazing day. In my dream, more than 100 students had come together to fold cranes and fundraise for the victims of the Japanese disasters. Together, they fundraised more than $5 000. Even in my mind this was a lot of dream dollars!

And then I realised it hadn't been a dream at all, that it really had happened.

On Tuesday the 19th of April, enthusiastic and inspiring students from schools all across Sydney folded, smiled, got rejected (ohhh, how we felt the burn of rejection!) but, most importantly, made a difference in the world. 

The world is crying out for our help (not literally). There are people in Japan right now who are suffering in abysmal conditions. They have no homes left. They have no hope left.

These young people answered their call for help and roved the streets of Sydney, braving the sting of rejection and valiantly asking the public to donate to our cause. 

There were many many smile-lights for the day and this is to just name a few:

=)    When Sharon Mo was on her way to the toilet, a couple of punk-ish teenagers called out to her "Girl, why you in school uniform?" After explaining our project, one of them reached into their bra (her BRA, I say!) and pulled out $10 in coins and gave them to Sharon, filling her entire hand full!

=)   As Bella and I were walking along with our basket of cranes and collection cup, a frail voice called us back. We turned around to see an old man who seemed unfortunate - his clothes were old and tattered and he was sitting by himself. When we walked back to him, he pressed 40c to us, insisting that we take it and telling us what a good thing we were doing. After we thanked him profusely and were walking away, we heard him whisper "God Bless You."

=)   The many, many people who didn't have spare change... and donated $5, $10 and even $20 to us! The sheer generosity of the people overwhelmed me and I was reminded again and again that there are so so many selfless and amazing people in this world.

=)   When the day began, we only aimed to reach $1000. By the end of the day, because of everyone's amazing perseverance (as well as their sheer charm of course) and generosity, we managed to raise more than five times our target.

There were a lot more smile-lights but I don't think words can quite capture them. So I just want to thank everyone who came out today - you're ALL amazing and awesome people and, without you, the event would not have been such a success! I'd also like to thank Abby Hatami and Brad Timms who supported us on behalf of the Red Cross, putting in so much effort to reply to my incessant emails haha! Finally, thanks definitely has to go out to Officeworks and all the people who bought and donated today - thanks for believing in us!

You ALL inspired me and made me realise that dreams really do come true.

I'd like to leave you guys with some photos from the day (credit goes to Anu Ganapathy, Blair Wang, Cheuk Lam, Joanne Kim, Kelly Tran and Michael Ma for these beautiful shots!).

Since a picture is a thousand words, consider this our 10 000 thank you's to you!

Lined up and waiting to hit the streets!

How can you say no to that?

One of our charming teams!

Folding cranes with all their might.

We raised almost $3500 in coins alone.

Our sweatshop of crane folders. Just kidding!

Sharing a well-deserved hi-5.

On our way to depositing first $2000!

People of all ages joined us in our plight.

A generous lady who donated $20!

Folding cranes at Cranes for Hope HQ.

Cranes for Hope posters

There's always time to pose and look awesome.

Our beautiful hand-made cranes!

Late night preparation for the event.

Gorgeous coloured paper donated by Officeworks.

Ready to become beautiful cranes.

At Central at the ridiculous hour of 7am.

Ready to take on terror in the world!

Our all-nighter team!

Always, always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)