Just The Way You Are

I made a comment to my friends once that earned me a large amount of dirty glances and glares recently. And this was a bomber - this was the comment that caused them to refuse to talk to me for a whole period. This comment earned me a lot of slaps.

What did I say to deserve such meanness? Just three little words, really.
"Guys," I moaned one day," I. Feel. Fat."
Immediately everyone near me backed away with horrified expressions. Janet and Lindy turned their backs on me with identical looks of disdain.

"You!?" they shouted together. "YOU feel fat??! I can't believe you just said that!"
"I am not talking to you." Janet said moodily, and I got the silent treatment for a long, long hour.
 *            *                  *                     *

To those who know me, their reaction is not entirely strange. Ever since year 7, I've always been on the malnourished side, ranging between bony to average. Even though I'd been gradually gaining, I definitely wasn't unhealthy or overweight.

But although I had a healthy weight well-matched with my ridiculously tall height, secretly deep down, I wanted to be skinnier.
One moment I'd be happy with myself, the next I would see an even slimmer, pretty girl floating on the street and I'd wonder:  If I lost just a few extra kilos, would I look like that?

It wasn't an obsession, or even a priority - but I was never completely happy with myself. At the back of my mind, I felt like I had to keep losing weight until I had a perfect body.

Thankfully, I have some of the most wonderful people in the world as friends, and they made me realise how blinded and shallow I was being. Because how you look may matter for a few seconds, but to the people who are worth knowing in your life, they won't care!

It's the ones that see your flaws and failings, know the absolute worst parts about you, but genuinely love you anyway that really matter. 

This post isn't just about girly things like weight-loss either! Most of the time, as humans, we aren't happy with what we have. We want to be better in school, better at sports, better at making friends - until we reach a place where we can relax and say we've achieved it all.

The sad truth is you will be never be 'good' enough - what are you trying to be 'good enough' for? No matter what, there will always be somebody better than you. Now, I'm not scared to admit my weight anymore (58kgs because I'm SURE you were all wondering), but even I once thought it wasn't thin enough. It's frightening because it shows the quest for the best is never-ending.

But not being 'good' enough is a blessing in disguise! I'm not saying you shouldn't aim high :) Whatever you do, putting your best effort forward is important - just so you have no regrets later! However, realise that you don't have to be good enough. You can even fail. You know why?

Because you are perfect, exactly the way you are now.
Why is there so much focus on how pretty or handsome we are, whether we get the same marks as jko, or if we make it to prefects? These things will eventually stop mattering.

A beautiful face won't last, but a beautiful soul on the other hand, stays with you forever.

I have decided that I'm not going to be a silly girl who wishes for skinnier thighs and a prettier face. Who constantly wishes they had better maths marks and nothing less than a 99.5 ATAR! Instead, I want to learn to be a person who attracts others to them, simply through the selflessness, kindness and care they give. Somebody who is completely, utterly, gloriously happy with that they have!
How about you?

See, there's a reason why that Bruno Mars song is so darn popular!

It has a message I send to you with love today  - that you are amazing, just the way you are.

Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)

FEB: Valentine's Day Serenades!

Today, for our Valentine's Day February Project, the citizens of Happiness-Equals-Bracket Land serenaded Parramatta. Armed with just a guitar and our beautiful, melodic voices, we bravely began our quest to Spread The Love. =)

Some of the smile-lights included:

=) The couple who requested With You by Chris Brown and, after a little tinkling and mumbled lyrics, everyone started getting really into it. The couple even began to sing with us as they held each other, dancing and twirling.

Afterwards, when we saw them again, they asked us about what we were doing and we ended up becoming friends on Facebook. So if you're reading this, thank you for being so lovely to serenade and Happy Valentines Day!



=) The waitresses at our favourite chocolate cafe who danced and sang along with us. After we serenaded the couples in the cafe, they told us how we made their day and we just want to let you know - you guys made our day too! =)

=) The lovely couple who requested a serenade after they heard us singing. They were really good fun to serenade, the girl laughing and smiling as we sang and clapped. After we finished the song, her boyfriend sweetly kissed her.

So thank you for being amazing and playing along with our "your boyfriend organised all this" haha! If your girlfriend is reading this, HE REALLY DID ORGANISE A GROUP OF PEOPLE TO SERENADE YOU. =P

=) The two people who we serenaded - clapping and hand actions and all - before finding out they were best friends. At the end.

If you guys are reading this, we're really sorry about that but, hey, if you two happen to get together in the future, get back to us hahaha!

=) When we serenaded our favorite waitress, Anne, at a restaurant that some of us had gone to recently. We sat her down and surrounded her as we sang, putting all our energy and heart into it. She began to tear up during our song and told us she wouldn't forget our serenade.

We love you Just The Way You Are, Anne!



=) The couple who had just recently gotten engaged. All twenty of us sat around their table while we waited for her to return to the table, pretending we were about to order.

Then, Wilson started the first lines of Marry You and, on "Hey ba-by, I think I wanna marry you", we all joined in, encircling the soon-to-be-wed couple. As we sang, they held hands and the girl even shed a few tears.

We hope that your wedding goes wonderfully, you two deserve it!

Once again, we could never have done this without all the help from our friends. So a very, VERY big thank you to (in alphabetical order) Alex, Anna, Augusta, Ayus, Daniel, Falko, Helen, Loz, Lozi, Na-Young, Neil, Nivvi, Paul, Ragu, Raymond, Rosanna, Roy, Sanji, Suzi, Wilson, all the AWESOME restaurant staff who let us serenade (especially the ones who danced and sang along with us) and, lastly, to all the couples who allowed us to serenade them.

You guys made my day so HAPPY VALENTINE'S! <3

Happiness Equals Bracket. =)

Spread the Love!

Long ago, there lived a beautiful princess named February Project. However, she was not like other princesses and had ruefully never experienced true love's first kiss.

On one particular morning, the kingdom of Happiness-Equals-Bracket Land was joyously celebrating the union of their beloved Princess January with the dashing Prince Mickey.

According to the whispers across the land, their love story had started with a "Hey" and solidified when he took her by the heart and he took her by the hand.

Away from the celebrations of love, Princess February was sitting amongst the trees and shadow on the bank of Lake Parramatta. She was engulfed with grief.

Why couldn't she find true love like her sisters January and September had? Was it because she wasn't good enough? Not deserving of true love?

"O, woe be I," despaired she.

Suddenly, she felt a small something eagerly jumping at her feet. She glanced down and came upon a frog, much to her surprise and curiosity.

"Kiss me!" the frog ribbeted. "Kiss me, Princess!"

The princess felt an overwhelming sense of deja vu, as if it was destiny that had guided her to this frog's lips.

Slowly, she bent closer and closer to the frog, her eyes closed.

"What on EARTH are you doing, fair maiden?!" a voice cried out, startling her eyes open.

She blushed a bright pink as she took in the handsome, young prince standing in front of her, his face mortified and bewildered.

It dawned on her how ridiculous she must have looked, about to kiss a frog. Curse that frog! She hope it got cursed for all eternity!

"If you wanted a kiss that badly, all you had to do was ask," he smiled at her good-humouredly. "I'm Day. Valentine's Day."

She laughed. "I'm February Project."

From that moment onwards, February Project and Valentine's Day were happily united in Happiness-Equals-Bracket Land.

A few years after their marriage, Valentine's and February had a child.

Valentine's Day February Project was born on 14th February at 3pm. The citizens of Happiness-Equals-Bracket Land came together in song at Parramatta Westfields to celebrate the newborn baby. Everyone was adorned in pinks, reds and whites as they sang along to:

=) Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars
=) Accidentally In Love - Counting Crows
=) Marry You - Bruno Mars
=) Plus more of the latest ballads and sonnets! :D

Even the citizens who couldn't sing that well or had tutoring later came and sang along to spread the love and join the fun! :)

And then they all lived Happily Ever After.

Happiness Equals Bracket. =)

What's After Midnight?

It's actually very frightening when you're confronted with a situation you never thought you'd be in. I know this blog is dedicated strongly to smiling, but tonight I experienced something that not only scared me deeply, but touched me so much that I can't not post about it.
And it's not going to be pretty.

After a tiring, explosive day at school delivering hundreds of roses, serenading and entertaining in preparation for Valentine's Day, Lindy and I took a well-deserved break and enjoyed a delicious Thai dinner along with the rest of our school prefect body. (Oh, it was delicious. You must try Thai).

The dinner went later that we anticipated, and I was waiting at the bus stop with two friends (Sonya and Taseen), joking around. The streets were still well-lit, being a Friday night, and distant sounds of people laughing, and glasses clinking drifted over occasionally.

Then I noticed an old lady stumbling closer to us. She had on a baggy sweatshirt and was carrying a heavy load of shopping. She was also eyeing my colouful bouquet of roses and white teddy-bear enviously.
"Are you kids celebrating Valentines early?" she said.
"Oh, yes!" We smiled and I offered her a spare rose, just in the spirit of Valentines. "Would you like a flower?"
"Thank you very much."
And then she shocked us completely.

"Can I have the bear too?"
Well we looked at this other confusedly - did this woman actually just ask us to give her our Valentine's presents for free? That was a little strange.

But the really frightening thing was when she burst into loud, sobs and tears dribbled from her eyes.
"I'm so very lonely now, and there's no one who cares about me!" she cried, grabbing at me.
"It's just so hard! I can't take it anymore." Awkwardly, I put an arm on her shoulder, and somehow she ended up in my arms, crying uncontrollably on my shoulder.

I don't know if you've ever had a complete stranger crying on you, but it's... REALLY uncomfortable. You feel like you want to fling them off and run far, far away.
Yet at the same time, it was terrible that a person had become that fragile, and seeing them break down like that. And I was ashamed of myself for not being more understanding - who knew what hardships she had been through?

"Here, take this," Sonya said softly, pushing her teddy bear into the woman's arms.
The old woman clutched the bear tightly, and wiped her tears on its soft fur.
Well we tried to talk to her about how she felt, and how nothing in life can't be won over. That things might be bad, but trials builds character. And no matter how bad a storm is, there's always a sunny day after it.

She seemed to get more distressed, until at one point she began screaming, a shrill, agonised noise.
Everyone in near vicinity turned and stared at us, whispered and pointed. Then she quietened down.

"Can we be friends, please?" she asked eagerly at one point. "Please. I'm so lonely. Can we keep in contact?"
Taseen took down her number, and in the end she shuffled away, a lone woman bent under the load of her shopping bags. I felt absolutely terrible.
We will never know if we made any difference to her life - but I hope so. And I don't know what you'll think of this incident.
But I realised how ridiculously lucky I am to have friends and family, who will always stand by me, no matter what. And now, actually meeting a person who has given up and lost all hope, I am determined to fight.

No matter how many trials and hardships life throws at us, we have to realise there is always someone who has it worse. To completely give up and wallow in self-pity and misery is just weak, because I've discovered life is worth fighting for. All the best moments of my existence have made up for every hour of crap I've been through, a hundred thousand times over. And we don't know how things fit in the bigger picture, so how can we say things will never get better?

So from now on, I'm counting my blessings and keeping my hope bright.
And to everyone who has ever said: "There's nothing good at all about my life."

Or "I've been through so much, I can't take it anymore." - you can.

Don't ever, EVER forget that even after the deepest, darkest, most haunted night - dawn always comes.

Happiness Equals Bracket =)

We Undertook a Quest

Last Saturday, Lindy and I had perhaps one of the best days ever in the history of Happiness-Equals-Bracket. In fact, friends of ours, who have already heard us gush enough about it, would probably kill us happily just to stop us posting about that day-

Who's that at the door? Just give me a moment.

BANG! SMASH! WOODSPLINTERING NOISES!

Oh. Oh dear, it seems they're right outside hammering down the door right now with axes and pitchforks so I'll make it quick. And even though this might sound like an ordinary day, there was a lesson in it - something special that hopefully you'll read on and understand :)

For those of you who have no idea who Quest Crew is, shame! But then again, I know it's difficult to match my superior fan-girl, stalking skills.

Quest Crew are a breakdancing, hiphop group who won the third season of America's Best Dance Crew - which isn't entirely extraordinary. But they're internationally well-known for being mostly asian, unfairly multi-talented, and having a wacky sense of humour.

And also 'cos you know, spinning on your head upside-down is just cool.

We found out recently that, not only were Quest coming to Australia, they were teaching dance classes in the city for a not-unreasonable amount! Well, you can imagine how excited we were - ever heard an elephant squeal?

The only problem was, the classes were breaking and bboying. Of course, being the gifted, extremely talented girls we are, Lindy and I knew neither of them. And on Friday night, we were attacked with a case of the frights.

What on earth were we doing?
Quest crew were insanely good breakdancers, and insanely good breakdancers from Sydney would surely turn up to learn from them - and then laugh at us.
We'd look like monkeys at a Justin Bieber concert.

Besides, we had to study.

But regret is a very strong and lingering feeling. More than anything, it's not the things we regret doing, but the ones we regret not doing that keep us up at night.
So we crossed our fingers, toes and eyes for good luck, put on our best bboy outfits and set off on Saturday morning not knowing what to expect.

And somehow, it ended up being the best end to a summer holiday ever.

 Smilelights =)

=) Walking into the studio to find a bunch of hardcore-looking boys - but also a few extremely nice girls, particularly one woman who had also never breakdanced before. Also, talking to aforementioned hardcore boys and discovering they were actually very friendly!

Lindy and a mysterious masked man

The mysterious man is actaully a dwarf.

=) Stretching with very flexible and well-known Victor Kim, who kept us entertained with random lines, strange noises and generally posing around. Some choice quotes:

"Alright this next move is like a fullstop in breakdancing because it punctuates it. No, more like a comma - a semicolon, a question mark maybe."

"I really think I need a filter for the words that come out of my mouth.'





Victor got sick of walking with his feet.

=) How despite our many fails, crash-landings, embarassing attempts, nobody made us feel like we didn't belong there. Even Quest Crew patiently taught their tricks, laughing along with us whenever we did something particularly cringeworthy. As for the other breakers, they never acted like they were better than us (although they DEFINITELY were).


Hok's crazy hair!



Ryan looking much better than either of us



=) Lazing on the couch and meeting some very cool guys who brought a guitar with them. Ten minutes later, despite being complete strangers, we were singing, clapping and dancing to 'Billionaire.' Then 'Love the Way to Lie.' Then making up our own songs and raps. We spent hours there just jammin' and had the time of our lives. I know, exciting lives we lead :)

One of our talented jammers!

If you are reading this Chris, Billy, Alija  - you guys are going to be famous dancers/guitarists/Bruno Mars sound-a-likes! Give us an autograph!

All in all, it was a very simple kind of day. We met some people, stretched some muscles, tried to do a handstand, rested on a couch. But when I left, there was two thoughts that kept circling my mind:

First, Victor told us this."When you make a move, never do it half-heartedly. Even if it's a mistake, make it look as if it was meant to be, and put all your effort into what you're about to do."

The reason why I love Quest Crew so much is because they had the courage to follow what they really loved to do. They had asian parents too, who definitely would have disapproved of dancing for a career. Dancing? Don't be ridiculous, DOCTOR!

In fact, many of them went to college - some even completed degrees and started working at respectable firms, only dancing at night. But in the end, it takes a lot of courage to give up all that success for a career that is really risky and not that well-paid.

The dancers is Quest knew all that, but they still quit their jobs so they could pursue what they love. They had to fight for it, and it must have been tough and painful, but Quest Crew proved you don't have to do med to be successful!

I really admire them for that. And I only hope that I can have that same courage to choose my future, a future that I sincerely am excited about.
It doesn't matter what you want to study (whether its med or law or even cooking) as long as you are passionate about it, and willing to fight hard to get there.
Otherwise, if it's just something your parents want you to do, or if it's just a respectable job to have, really consider if it's worth it.
Will you regret it in ten years?

The second thing I realised was that, had Lindy and I chickened out, stayed at home and studied, we would have missed out on this amazing, wonderful, glorious day.

Our new crew!

We would've never met all these cool, funny and awesome people. Go figure =)

Finally, here's a Quest Crew performance if you don't know them just so you can see how talented they are!

Now - ARGH! THE DOOR IS DOWN. REPEAT, THE DOOR IS DOWN AND MY FRIENDS ARE NOW IN THE ROOM ATTACKING M-

Always remember, Happiness Equals Bracket =)